Comments on: Shidduchim Without Vision: By Avi Solomon

By: bas noach

bas noach — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:32:54 +0000

Avi, perhaps your bashert is in the NY area and so you won’t need this service. But for those who are willing to hear of out- of- town shidduchim, this is an absolute boon. It is a vast improvement over the telephone because it does allow for facial expression, (though I imagine other cues might be lacking in this set up.) Are you aware that the advent of the bicycle increased the average person’s locale of meeting his mate ten-fold? There is blessing in this innovation! יה”ר that it should be instrumental in making many happy marriages.

By: Efsher nisht?

Efsher nisht? — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 02:14:39 +0000

While I tend to agree with number 29 and 30, nevertheless sometimes a phone call or two still does not help someone make a decision if the shidduch is worth pursuing. Somehow a “virtual” date will allow MANY to decide one way or the other. As such I think we should DEFINITELY use this new option to help those “in the parsha” to find their bashert (wherever they may be).

By: woohoo

woohoo — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 03:45:55 +0000

so i totally agree with number 29 — when my parents were dating, it was totally normal for the couple to speak on the phone BEFORE the first date. They actually arranged the date on the phone. Was there something hashkafically wrong with that? Why did it stop?

By: out of control

out of control — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:47:33 +0000

what ever happpened to the telephone? why can’t the prospective shidduch speak with each other a few times before spending money to travel? Is it because all anyone cares today is about “looks” what’s the bochur going to say on the video? stand up so I can see if you are skinny? shame on us that it has come to this. I ask again, what’s wrong with talking to the girl on the telephone before deciding to fly half way across the country?

By: ZaidyZ

ZaidyZ — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 10:44:00 +0000

I agrre totally w/ # 15 & #18 & the others who expressed similar views. Something BRAND NEW comes out, & BEFORE IT’S EVEN GIVEN A DROP OF A CHANCE, all the ‘leitzim’ are making fun of for reasons that, if you think into it, are JUST PLAIN SILLY. Like:
‘A net vision isn’t the same as a real face to face meeting’ Is a phone call the same?
How good is the quality of the video anyway. Well how about the sound on those cheap DSL phone connections?
If these people had lived in 1900 when Alexander G. Bell invented the phone thay would have made fun THE SAME WAY & INSISTED that every bocher get into his horse-drawn carriage & go meet the girl, like people did for THOUSANDS of years. How did R. Akiva Eiger ZT”L & the GR”A ZT’L & the Ba’al Shem Hakosh etc. 1st speak to their wives, with a TELEPHONE THING?????? If the horse & wagon was good enuf 4 them, Y not 4 us?? R we BETTER than them, Chas V’Chalila??
If you’re typing your comments on a computer, you’re already using a medium that that was made fun of just as much when it 1st came out (& it was primitive & full of problems) What was so bad about TYPING your message on PAPER & MAILING it to people, or posting it on the shul bulletin board like untill now? And TYPING? Why not HAND WRITE it? And on PAPER? What happened to PARCHMENT? It was SO MUCH STRONGER & lasted so much LONGER than this new mishigas ‘PAPER.’
The list could go on FOREVER.
GROW UP AVI !!!! The world is CONSTANTLY changing, & there’s NOTHING WRONG w/ that. Everything new needs to be AT LEAST TRIED OUT before being ridiculed.
fRUM PEOPLE Only THE ESSENCE of Torah & Mitzos can NEVER be changed. The MEANS to accomplish them however, are only ‘MACHSIREI MITZVA’

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 18:15:58 +0000

I agree . Althpugh I think this is a very BAD idea for a younger bochur ,it make make sense for somebody who is older and been in the shiduch scene for many years

By: Zely

Zely — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:07:23 +0000

As a former (baruch Hashem) elter bachur, I can say that I would definitely have TRIED the system. I was ‘redd’ Out of Town shidduchim that I turned down because of the definite tircha for indefinite return (to say the least).

But I was confident enough to try this out without worrying about awkwardness.

Maybe younger, more nervous daters would not do it; but older and more experienced daters may have more success at dispelling the
additional awkwardness, as they do in real live dates. They are just not as nervous, partially because they are numbed to the whole experience.

In general, older singles are more willing to try unconventional approaches, such as Shabbatons etc. This initiative may turn out to help that segment of the dating population that needs it most.

By: Hello

Hello — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:30:29 +0000

If you ever wondered why there is a Shidduch crisis the person who wrote this article might be a clue to the question. Writing articles is a new way to stay at home and Kvetch about all your problems, and see if others are agreeing with you. I realize that writing articles on the net is opposed by many Gedolim, however as someone who disagrees with your point of view I think that there is a big Toeles to anything that can help Shiduchim move forward. Furthermore, I am sure that I am right and that NetVision will increase the amount of Shiduchim.
Although Shidduch NetVision lacks the flavor and experience of actually meeting a person in person, there are many times people will not consider a Shidduch from out of town, even if it might be a great catch, as they do not want to go through with the expense and extra time it entails. The first date is usually just to get to know the person, and to see if you are attracted to them. ShiduchNetVision accomplishes that in a wonderful Tzniyesdike way. Shidduch NetVision is an idea that takes into account the psychology of people. The average person wants to make sure there is an attraction to the other prior to getting serious. By meeting via NetVision this will make you feel less akward.
Nevertheless, Avi you are wrong. This idea is amazing and will have positive resullts. You are the exception and merely projecting your psychological make-up onto everyone else.
In the future I hope that those writing their ideas ton blogs aren’t merely repeating what they heard in the coffee room as I believe your words were.

By: Yehudah Censorman

Yehudah Censorman — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:17:55 +0000

UN A GOOD SHABOS TZU DER LAKEVOOD SCOOP, OICHET.
Yehudah Censorman

By: Yehudah Censorman

Yehudah Censorman — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:16:15 +0000

A gut shabos tzum alemen.

By: Amature Shadchan

Amature Shadchan — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 04:43:27 +0000

Instead of contemplatin weathe this will work or not. Pick up the phone and RED A SHIDDUCH!!! So many single people (and their parents) out there, sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring.Not enough of us are making an effort,

By: farfelfresser

farfelfresser — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 03:12:41 +0000

i didn’t know there was any frum people outside Lakewood

By: Theres hope!

Theres hope! — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:17:07 +0000

Avi, did you ever nix a shidduch because it was too far and only a small chance it would work? We’re you ever red a shidduch from Eretz Y or England and didn’t even begin to consider well may suggest that the next time you’re about to say no due to distance (if there wasn’t a great chance it might be nogea) Please try this system and let us know if it was worth. Ok?

By: Another organization?

Another organization? — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:14:17 +0000

Lkwd has so many organizations like hatzolo, chaverim lac chai lifeline etc etc…what is this new organization cakb about? is it legit? are there rabbonim behind it?

By: anon

anon — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 23:45:44 +0000

Grow up! You don’t like it, don’t use it!