The streets in Lakewood today are busy and shops are full as thousands gear up for the summer camp season.
But what you may not know, is that there are many around Lakewood who just can’t afford the luxury.
And though it is a luxury on one hand, we know all too well the necessity for a child to have structure in his days and not roam freely around town during the summer months.
Yet, for some, there just isn’t money for it.
One mother just happened to ‘matter of factly’ mention to me how she has been saving up from her job all year to be able to send her son to camp, but was (as of about a few days ago) still unsure if she would have enough.
Here’s a suggestion for those who have the means: Perhaps, as you get ready to send your child or children off to camp, think of those who don’t make the cut, and reach out to them with a little gift – and help a child get to camp so he too can enjoy his summer.
Mrs. K, Lakewood
(TLS welcomes your letters by submitting them to [email protected])
So maybe make a fund IL be the first donation to help
I agree . A beautiful idea. Also ,there are numerous families that can’t afford the basic school tuition and still have big balances with their children’s schools . We should think of helping them with this also. It might even be more important than camp ,which is a luxury when compared to school .
Not to take away from the letter writer and her obvious sensitivity to others that don’t have but sadly this concept of some having a lot and other not having at all or some being ‘able to’ and others ‘not being able to’ sadly applies to so much more than sleep away camp. Everything from tuition to buying basic food items, paying utilities and all else many in this town struggle beyond imagination. Its just a reality that while some have, others may not have . That’s not to say that we shouldn’t help others but chances are the ones that are not sending to camp are struggling in other areas too. My take is we should be pumping more resources into our chesed organizations like Ahavas Tzedakah and others that help the very people we care about..
I think they shld stop camp all together and make a little sports program or something else but camp is just outrageous especially if u have more then 1kid going to camp
Here is a suggestion. You can do what I did I sent my husband to work half a day so we can afford summer camp. It is very important for the kids to do the same as their friends. They are working hard in school all year they definitely deserve the fun that summer camp has to offer.
“You can do what I did, sent my husband to work half a day……”
I love that sentence!!!
My kids who are all already grown unfortunately never had a camping experience. How I kept them busy in the summer was taking them on outings to parks and having picnics. They went bike riding and swimming. When my girls were old enough they either worked as mothers helpers or ran their own day camps. Anyway I think that nowadays everything is too over the top. Camps don’t have to be so extravagant and have such elaborate trips etc. Even the canteens now sell hot cooked food. Who needs that when they’re served 3 good meals a day with snack time also?
Strollers, car seats, changing tables, rockers etc…. CC only!
While it sure is great for the kids to have an outlet of going to camp, if someone is not paying full tuition I don’t think the parents should be spending money on camp. That’s how it was when I was a child and I don’t feel I had a deprived childhood at all.
I do put my money where my mouth is. I make a very nice living and pay full tuition yet I don’t have the money to afford camp for both halves for all my children, so I’m only sending first half.
Sure, I can probably get a break on tuition and send my kids both halves, but that’s not something I would consider.
To the letter writer : a big chunk of those people you see shopping for camp, can’t afford it either, but they need to live up to the Lakewood peer pressure.
I would venture to guess that a large number of Lakewood parents who send to sleep away camp ,only pay the minimum bare bones tuition. I did hear from somebody working in a school that there are parents who dont even finish paying the minimum ,that send their kids to camp . If camps turn away those who dont pay everybody understands. But if schools do that ,everybody bad mouths the school . I’m not sure that is fair.
Our system is not workign for the average hard working middle class what else is new we failed completely!!. The average person with a large family is barely making it its one huge mess
Moshe, absolutely right!! I do work in a school and the amount of $ people.owe on REDUCED tuition is unreal, but summer camps and getaways are always on the agenda!! How can they justify that?
Anonymous, you are to be commended!! Isn’t schar limud paid back to you from above? Time to rethink our values!!!
To Beautiful,
Your statement “I sent my husband to work half a day so we can afford summer camp”
A)Sounds like you might want to save some of that money for Shalom Bayis therapy. do youtreat your husband as if he is your child?
B) You must be pretty well off if other than paying for camp you can live comfortably while your husband does not work full time.
Reply to No one – from beautiful… thank you for answering my suggestion. I gave her a suggestion that she might consider. I am Very far from well off I just keep up with the lakewood standards. I just find it necessary to send my kids to summer day camp. Sometimes women need to hear that it’s ok to tell their husband that they can’t keep up with all the expenses and that they need help. That’s what I meant when I said that I sent my husband to work half a day…
1. Sounds like you might need to save some money to judge others favorably.
2. I have a great paying job bh. And my husband went into an excellent paying half day job. I never said I live comfortably. Just keeping up the lakewood standards.
To Noone
There is a shalom bayis hotline you can call and remain anonymous. Sometimes it’s better not to comment if you don’t have something nice to say.
To beautiful
Kol hakavod to you for sending your husband to work. You clearly told him that you are unable to pay the expenses and need help. I admire you for that. May everyone be happy. Amen!
Camp is very important.
Yes, some parents are struggling with tuition and fall behind. But because of that, it doesn’t mean their son/daughter don’t deserve a structured summer.
Sometimes the difference between a great school year and a not so good year is the summer experience they look forward to.
It’s difficult all the way around and there’s no one right answer.
But don’t take away the kids summer they so badly need for an outlet.
Maybe your neighbor who can’t afford it should teach their kids that there are those that have and those that have not. I have a neighbor who’s husband sits and learns, she won’t let him get a job, because Torah is so holy. Then she collects from the relitives and neighbors that have, all the while telling her kids that working is not the right derech. If you want to live an austere lifestyle, that’s fine, but you better make sure that you can live with the consequences. It’s not so easy to live like the chofetz Chaim, nor does Hashem demand that of you. We can save her looking down at us for another time. The bottom line is that if you want your husband to sit and learn all day, you will not be able to afford what your neighbors have. However, in Olem Habah, the learning guy is up there. There’s a story that Reb Shach said about a very wealthy Baal Tzedaka, Olem Habbah, I don’t know if who has a greater Chelek, however, Olem Hazeh, I forsure have a more enjoyable Olem Hazeh then he does.
Yes she definitely should teach her kids that not everyone has… I have a question does your friend take money and use that money to send her kids to day/sleepaway camp?
I hope one day she learns that working husbands are not a bad thing. Think gabbai, rebbe, chazzan, tutor,
It’s all the more reason for children who live in poverty stricken home who live on a shoe string budget to send the children away to escape and live a few weeks in a carefree environment. I would not be who I am today without sleep away camp. It is very important to send children away to camp
Hotpants370 my husband and I both work and still we can not afford camp! I pay my reduced tuition and am going into debt. Right now my kids are young enough so we send to a local daycamp. This is a necessity being as I said before my husband and I both work. I don’t know how I am paying for these camps! As my kids start talking abt sleep away camp my husband and I begin to panic. This has nothing to do with working or not working. Camps are a fortune and not always a luxury
Plenty of people who work full time are also having trouble making ends meet.
To camp is vital :
I really can’t understand your logic. How can anybody rationalize not paying the tuition that you owe,or ideally the amount that it costs yhe school which is more than the Lakewood minimum tuitions,and then turn around and understand that person paying for camp .Are you saying it’s more important for your child to go to camp than to learn for 10 or 11 months ?
Thete are people who pay for 2 months of camp ,more than they pay the school for the entire year of school, and there are people that owe their schools thousands of dollars of tuition ,while they are paying for camps ? How can you rationalize that ? And then we complain when we dont have enough schools and people don’t open more schools because of lack of funds .And then we complain when our schools have large classes .
What kids need more than camp is a Mommy.
Kids needing the structure of a camp because Mom is not available because she has to pay the bills is far from ideal.
Working Moms is not a consequence of kollel, it is the secular feminist culture sneaking in.
30 yrs ago Lakewood was a kollel town and all my friends and I were kept home with our mothers until about 3 yrs old, and daycamp often not until after pre1A
Doesnt necessarily have to be sleepaway camp but for some (many) kids some sort of camp structure is a necessHiity.
Both me and my husband work too. And we dont have the freedom to keep them home all day even if we wanted to.
(Attn commenter Beautiful above… we both work and still dont have the means to pay for camp and we live simply and dont spend on anything including clothing.)
We literally save up for the summer months and take out of savings to send our kids to DAY camp! They are still young and dont have the pressure of needing sleepaway camp yet but its gonna be tough when we get there.
Moreso… when I walk into the stores to try to shop some of the basics for their camp needs I have to hold back crying as I walk out of the stores empty handed cuz we simply dont have the extra funds to spend these outrageous prices!
I look around at all the ppl in there and wonder how in the world they manage to pay the prices.
And I know I am not alone on this!
BH for deja new/serendipity I managed to get some stuff needed.
But seriously if you can afford to buy at the crazy prices the stores in this city charge maybe consider leaving some donations in a fund at the stores for those even worse off than me that cant afford the prices. And let people be able to quietly sign up and tap into the fund.
I probably would rather save it for those that have less than I do and will simply just not shop in the stores and somehow figure out how to get what I need. But it is really crazy how prices have gone through the roof from camp to clothes and camp needs and yes there are probably hundreds if not thousands of families here that are either going into cc debt or suffering in silence.
Wow you brought up a great point. My husband is sitting and learning and I am trying to hold down the fort while he is learning. I have a nine to five job everyday and on Friday nine to three with 6 kids under the age of 10. Thank you to comment number 5 name beautiful for opening up about this topic. I am going to approach my husband tonight and tell him I can’t hold down the fort myself and I need some help. My masmid husband who has great middos will most probably agree and look for a job. I know he probably will want to start looking for a half day job at first. And that is totally fine with me. Am I doing the right thing? I just need to hear that I am…
I came from a family with no money.
I believe it’s not a luxury to go to camp it’s a necessity.
My mother took a summer job to pay for me to go to camp.
There should be a fund for this and don’t say there’s many other causes that family’s need more Bec these are kids that will be deprived on missing important times in they’re lives.
I also believe for many kids it’s more important than school.
One thing it’s not that they will be diprived because most people go and they can’t they will be diprived for not going
@ Moshe. My kids go to daycamp so that my husband and I can go to work. My husband I both work and are struggling to keep up with tuition payments. No, camp is not a luxury for us. It’s the only way my husband and I can both go to work.
I don’t get this whole camp vs. tuition thing either. Many of not most of the parents in this town pay reduced tuition’s, yet send their children to sleepover camp. I don’t understand how you can ask for a break on tuition, yet send your children to sleepover camp for $2,000 at a minimum.
If less people would send their children to sleepover camp, it wouldn’t be that big of an issue. They would have friends around and they can structure their days with activities with friends, particularly if they are high school/ yeshiva aged.
It is an example of creating a high standard of living, which then becomes a crisis because people can not afford it.
The good old camp vs. tuition conversation.
Seasonal.
Same here. Both working. Barely making ends meet. Don’t know how people are buying houses for $600K and still able to do anything…let alone camp. Still catching up on tuition… blah blah blah. Same old same old.
The issue is not how people can afford 600k houses ,clothes etc .Obviously most of these people are getting sone sort of family help for these large expenses. That still doesn’t excuse the fact that many people will put camp befire tuition . This attitude of everything before tuition is,what is csusing us not to have enough schools and underpaid teachers. In out of town places ,you have to show your expenses befire you get a tuition break. In Lakewood everybody gets a break judt by asking ,but somehow finds the money for other things .
It’s really not a debate, like every discussion regarding kids, the answer is always the same: there is no one answer- it depends on the child, the family dynamic, his neighborhood and his peers. Basically, a very lebedig boy or girl, who worked hard the whole school year and has healthy friends in camp, yes, it’s a necessity to send him/her to camp.
Also, Over the years the suggestion has come up in conversations with askanim to make a Camp Fund, however, there are so many other causes that are more important that it always gets shelved. One day, one day.
Mark f – and ur point is…?
My siblings and I growing up in a small Brooklyn apartment were never sent to camp until the 9th grade when the yeshiva required it. We went to a local day camp (which back then were only charging half the amount that day camps charge these days) and were perfectly happy. Our parents took us on some nice very memorable family outings throughout the Tri-State area when the weren’t working on Sundays. “Those were the good ‘ol lazy (humid) summer days!”
Moshe- you think everyone is trying to take advantage of the system. They aren’t. Many people are just trying to stay afloat.
Camp doesn’t necessarily mean sleep away. It mean day camps as well.
As a society, we wouldn’t want our kids home over the summer. It’s not healthy for them. They need to interact and meet new friends.
Again just because someone is behind on tuition it’s doesnt mean their kids shouldn’t go to camp. It would be wrong to think so.
Just an idea, I don’t live in Lakewood but if it’s done in other communities it can work for you too. Merry-go-round camp. It doesn’t have to be for the whole summer, but can definitely work for a chunk of it. You team up with some neighbors and/or kids’ classmates, and each family takes a day to run the camp. The cheapest method is for the parent to run the camp on their day, whether it’s at home with crafts and activities etc or whether it’s a trip. The easier method which is still far cheaper than regular day camp is to hire a counselor (or two, depending on size) for the duration of the “camp”. The parents are responsible to host their day in their home/yard, depending on age of the counselor they may have to be home to supervise, and if it’s trip-based they would drive to/from the trip. If you factor in a counselor’s and JC’s salary for a 16-day camp (four weeks, four days each), divided by sixteen families, and each one has to host one day out of the month, it’s much more cost-efficient (and can be lots more fun!) than standard day camp. (And most families do this for more than one child, but it’s still easier than entertaining all your kids at home all day every day!) Depending on the age of the kids and if the parents work or can be around on their day, you choose the parameters that work best. BTDT, good luck!!
I’m responding to didi gregarious
It’s hard to take a yankee fans comment seriously.
You sound like someone who is spoiled.
I dont think people are trying to take advantage . I am just not understanding. Why should parents prioritize day camp or sleep away camp ,where the camps are a business ,over schools that are struggling to educate your kids. It sounds totally ludicrous to me.We are asking people to make more schools ,especially high schools, and these schools run a deficit and then we tell them that some parents can’t afford to pay even a reduced amount,but they are finding the money for camp. No wonder there are not enough school slots ,why would,anybody make a school with these attitudes by some people ?
hi all. I would like to adress a few points that were made here. First of all: to those who say I didn;t have this when I was a kid please realize that the world has changed and your children are not in the world you grew up in. One failure in being mechanich a child is to not deal with the world he has to exist in today. Second of all to those who are beating the tuition drum, I suggest you speak to a mental health professional and ask if he feels that the child needs camp or do you think he would love to sit alone at home while all his freinds are off having a good time. Just tell him you cant go because we have to pay full tuition we can’t afford. That will malke him feel soo much better.
First of all we,weren’t necessarily talking about full tuition .You can speak to the tuition collectors in many schools and they will tell you numerous cases where parents owe tuition for the bare bones minimum tuition which they have not paid ,and then they send their child to camp where you have to pay . And yes ,in Lakewood,where most schools full tuition is much less than NY full tuition ,why should a school have to struggle and pay their teachers low wages so that kids can go to camp . It really makes no sense .
Most schools in Lakewood are owed hundreds of thousands of dollars ,some if which never gets paid at all. Yet almost everybody goes to some kind of camp .
We are teaching our future generations , that paying Rebeim and teachers is not our first priority.
The question here was about summer camp not school tuition. Please don’t go off topic.
Thank you random I only want to hear the discussion of summer camp not school tuition.
Ok so because you can’t afford school tuition doesn’t mean that your kids can’t attend summer camp. So all the kids that are at summer camp should look at your kids and realize that you can’t afford it.
I make sure to send my kids to summer camp it is very important to them. I can’t afford to pay full school tuition as i am a single mom. It will be nice if there are people like me that send their kids to camp too so my kids don’t feel any different.
CAMP IS A NECESSITY NOT A LUXURY!!! Ask any real mechanech, not someone who jjusts like posting their personal opionions, My suggestion is you get all camps into one room and together all agree to lower the bar which will in turn lower the prices significantly, who needs, all the rediciulously crazy extravagent shows and thems, trips etc that camps do, it is just to keep up with the otehr camps so lets all camps agree together and ake it chaepaer, and the camps wont lose a penny!
FYI im sending my 4 year old to camp, it is costing $750!
I have a son a similar age, I’ve seen advertisements that advertised $65/week.
If that $100 makes a big difference for you, perhaps you could have chosen one of those.
Granted, they’ll spend less on arts and crafts etc.
To Moshe – Camp fees do NOT equal tuition fees. For parents who can’t afford tuition, skipping camp won’t even help.
A lot of comments about a lot of different things going on in these posts. Some people are talking about day camps, others talking about sleep over camps. No one differentiating regarding different age groups etc. No differentiation between boys or girls (girls have way more time off than boys).
One thing I noticed, is the comments about mental health experts etc. When I was growing up, you only went to mental health experts, if your children had mental health problems, and all the talk about “times have changed” I don’t know what people think was so different 20 years ago. The biggest difference 20 years ago was the attitude of the parents.
Parents used to think that their job was to raise their children. Now parents think their job is to coddle and spoil them. If your child is in their teens and need structure in the summer, maybe encourage them to get a job. It will provide them with structure, give them a sense of responsibility, and some pocket change to purchase things they may not otherwise have.