As people living in Lakewood, the sight of someone making an appeal after davening is quite common and sometimes occur even multiple times in one day. Usually these appeals last between 30 seconds to 2 minutes.
However I’ve noticed all too often, that people don’t even show basic respect to the person making the appeal. There are people talking during the appeal and even walking out. There was one time that there was about 30 people by a minyan and by the end of the appeal only 5 remained! Imagine how this person feels. He’s in a vulnerable situation pouring out his heart about the endless tzar he’s been going through. He’s in a foreign country and away from his family and friends. Just imagine the pain for a second. Now imagine how he feels when people walk out or people are talking while he’s pouring out his heart and showing they couldn’t even care less about him! Think about a time when you were in a vulnerable situation and needed other peoples help. Imagine they walked out while you were discussing your issue and showed they didn’t even care!
Whether you give the person money is up to you. Everyone has there own cheshbonos of how much tzedaka they can give. I know people are extremely busy and always running from one place to another. But to give two minutes of your time doesn’t cost you anything and will go a long way to preserve the kovod of the person making the appeal.
May we be zoche to see the Bais hamikdash rebuilt in our day,
Michoel S.
(TLS welcomes your letters by submitting them to [email protected])
Your point is well taken, thanks again.
Great point I totally agree with you. I know some readers are thinking that it is due to the fact that the appeals happen so often that the listeners become desensitized. To that the response is to realize that there are many many people who find themselves in unbearable pain, debt and humiliation due to their life’s circumstances. Each person that makes a speech comes with his own pain his own fears and his own heart.
Additionally we daven three times daily, we hope Hashem hears our teffilos and sees our struggles. We know Hashem never becomes tired and treats each bakasha individually seeing each teffilah as a gem-even though it is offered multiple times daily.
Nice to hear your thoughts. The way I see it is, I came to shul to daven. I have things to do a business to run yet every single prayer (especially if you daven in a plane like satmer) without fail someone gets up to give his speech. I don’t have to be forced to sit through his speech when all I want to do is daven and leave. Beside that were all in middle of davening who added speeches to the nusach? Which mind you half the time is in his language, which I think is wrong in and of itself. If your in America speak American.
I agree with you 110%
this doesnt apply to you. you only come during shmoneh esray and you leave before chazaras hashats. thanks for your opinion.
I disagree with your last point. They’re from a different country and they need help. Cut them some slack.
@mayo fight logic with logic not baseless accusations
The appeals disturb the tzibur from their davening. They should be done after the last kaddish.
In our shul the rov has forbidden any appeals in the middle of davening.
I will all shuls would follow. This has become a daily disturbance to tfilah bezibur.
I could not disagree with this post any more. Every shul recently became Hyde Park where everyone can just get up and give their speeches. I come to shul with a limited time frame so I can daven and commence my day. I do set aside time for chesed and tzedaka but that is allocated at a different portion of my day when i am not as stressed to be at a certain place at a certain time. I came to shul with 42 minutes to get a quality shachris from beginning until the kaddish after Aleinu. If another 5 minutes of personal speeches makes me sit and wait until after the last Aleinu, that can be very frustrating and may even cause me to leave and miss the last kaddish. This practice is inconsiderate.
Totally agree. I sometimes wonder how somebody can be so desensitized to not be moved by some of these appeals. But the reality is that some people are unfortunately just insensitive individuals. Just look at “My Opinion”‘s comment, (with a שיטה to justify it). We want ה׳ to answer our תפילות, so let’s have the heart to Listen and make eye contact with somebody that is in pain.
I really feel for them but the problem is the guy taking them around came up with a new marketing skill.Everyday they switch off who makes an appeal at which Shul.So be prepared to have a different guy there everyday sitting thru all the minyanim.
I agree with those who disagree with this post. It’s bad enough when the collectors make a speech after Davening is over and people who are in a rush need to leave. But in my experience they usually do it in middle of Ashrei or Shir Shel Yom and totally destroy the Kavana of all the mispallelim. They have no right to interrupt a Tefilla, and someone who is in middle of Davening has no obligation to listen. I have had collectors jingling their change in my face when I was very obviously in middle of saying Krias Shema, and sometimes even during Kedusha!
Puzzling letter, decent point but still puzzling. The letter writer is very successful at overcoming his desire to judge people when it comes to the giving money part, if they give or how much to give. sadly, for some reason that success didn’t travel over to the giving time part, which is strange. So – just to assist everyone – just like you wouldn’t judge – and kudos to you – someone who gave a small or zero donation, so, too, don’t judge someone who gives little or no time. Remember, for some people, giving 2 minutes is harder than giving $5.
i agree with this post. we are supposed to be rachamim binei rachamim. there is an issur of onaas devarim, hurting people with words. Do those that don’t want an appeal at the end of davening feel it is ok to hurt someone with deeds?
i agree we should be giving attention to them,
but i have limited time in the morning i already daven very early and i need to run out after the last kaddish if they would just speak for 10 seconds i would gladly give them but i cant wait for them to finish and then swipe my CC.
i also used to keep cash in my tallis bag to give them but it stopped because it became crazy and i count concentrate especially when we got 3 or 4 group in one shachris.
I hear people who disagree with this post as they coming to shul to Daven & have limited time and under a lot of pressure to get out . I was thinking if the appeals would be after minha or maariv when people are finished with the day & not in huge pressure ( talking about myself ) to leave to work / learn people would accept it better & actually give more
I personably had a miracle that literally saved my kids life after pledging to tzedokkah so please don’t think you helping them , we actually benefit from it but let’s make it work in away that it doesn’t take away from Davening and make it more convenient for people
I think both sides of the argument are legit
But i think we should look at every individual collector “individually”
they all have huge issues & problems that we together can ease their bourdon one yid at a time.
Dont look at it like its routine, put some heart into it- as if its your brother-BECAUSE IT IS !!!
Who said HASHEM wants your Tefillos when you embarrass someone and walk out, when he begs for your help?
Unfortunately we see who the big TZADIKIM who all of a sudden care about “their davening”
To the ones “who concerned about their davening”
Is it YOUR davening that concerns you, or is it the SEEVICE of HASHEM that you are concerned??
If it’s the latter, than DONT WALK OUT, when someone begs for your help!!! It’s a GRAVE CHILLUL HASHEM!
Relax. Don’t be such hot head. I
The editor fails to mention the many meshulachim that come around during davening. Its not right of you to hold anyone accountable for not hanging around for an appeal,in some of the busier shuls intown you can expect 10 to 20 meshulachim coming around during shachris,after being heckled the entire davening dont blame people for not sticking around for an appeal.Majority of ppl have schedules & have to get to work.The person making an appeal is collecting money just like any Meshulach is but doing it in a “fancier” way,let him go around like everyone else & not hold people up
I think a lot of it flies from the fact that we are bombarded with 13 to 20 of these guys every day every shacharis. If the drivers didn’t destroy tzedaka things would be different.
i agree with all of you wholeheartedly, both sides have an equally valid point, however there has to be a solution where you can help the needy without coming to this situation. i think if ppl would come with the mindset to bring 5 or 10 dollars to give 1 single to every meshulach i dont think it woul d feel such a burden and everyone will be happy
@CommandPost – well said – I agree 100%; 2 minutes doesnt “cost nothing” – it costs 2 minutes !!
@RR – That’s a good idea and I always wondered why there are MUCH less collectors by Mincha/Maariv than by Shacharis.
Keeping appeals to 30 seconds instead of 2 minutes each would also help!
Who is willing to commit to come 5 minutes before Shachris starts and for all appeals to be held only then?
Let’s all come 5 minutes before Shachris begins and institute a rule in all shuls that all appeals must take place only then.
Besides giving tzedaka, their is also a chiyuv to be ” mefiaso b’dvorim” to give chizuk & encouragement…
If you cant afford to give $, you can still afford your time & a smile
I agree 100 percent.
Not to mention when they come around jingling in middle of leining & your not yotzei.
I’m the kind of guy that tries to give something to every collector, but the appeals & hordes of collectors are ruining tefila betzibbur. Some compromise should be agreed upon by all shuls.
Whether the appeals affect my kavanah or takes up my times etc; thank G-d I am not in the matzav of these people and forced to go around collecting. Therefore, I believe it would not be appropriate for me or anyone else to be rendering opinions about the appeals and complaining so bitterly.
Thank G-d you are not in the situation as these people.
I agree with @a meshulachs perspective
I have occasionaly davened biyechidus rather than face the unpleasant matzav that davening in sonme of these places can entail. I know it isnt right but it is a disincentive when the thought of davening includes parking hassles, crowds, long waits for chazzaras hashas, and after all that multiple mishulachim followed by an appeal while everyone who stays for the appeal looks like they are being detained and cant wait to leave. Of course lifum tzara agra and i wish i felt differently abiut it and these poor people need all the help they can get but that is the reality….