By Avi Gutfreund. As 5779 gets underway, there are so many character attributes we can all work on refining. We each carry around our personal flaws, imperfections, and defects we strive to reverse and improve upon.

But there is something I believe we can all, as a singular body, work on: דן לכף זכות – judging others in a favorable light. Our burgeoning town, a melting pot of people with unique and diverse backgrounds, has tremendous potential as a unified community. The greatest obstacle facing this perhaps overly-utopian, sanguine outlook are the many legitimate points of contention regarding various affairs around town.

When a community boasts a population of 100,000+, it is inevitable that disputes and controversies will arise. But the finger-pointing, blaming, and castigating others as evil and malevolent is not conducive to the resolution of any of them. We too often judge too quickly; projecting our own flaws onto others as an automatic, knee-jerk reaction.

We can each commit to doing our own part to help alleviate the hurt and hatred in one simple way. Assume the best in others. Try too see the issue from the other party’s perspective.

Before going online to blast a Township official for their handling of an issue, think of the hours of work and introspection that the individual in all likelihood invested into the decision they ultimately settled on.

Before putting your neighbors feet to the fire for not conducting themselves to the standards you would like your children to see, sit down and talk. Are they coming from a place of malice or ignorance? I would bet it’s probably the latter. Before castigating others as nefarious and acting selfishly, ask yourself what that person is currently experiencing. Are they going through a difficult time? Do they perhaps believe, even if they are mistaken, that they are acting in good faith? There are countless ways in which we can change our attitudes, and especially at moments of heated debate and tangled controversies.

The fact of the matter is, that people generally believe they are doing their best. Sometimes they need to be shown the flip side of the coin to appreciate the mistakes they are making. But for them to agree to listen to your side, they need to know that you’re coming from a place of goodness, or else they will simply dig in their heels and become stauncher in their beliefs.

People are intrinsically good; sometimes you just have to search for a moment to see it.