1. My nephew is a very good quiet boy. Learns well and behaves great. However his teachers seem to mostly ignore him, as he does not stir up any trouble or speak up for homself. I have talked with the principal and teachers to give him some positive attention and although they said they would, they never do.maybe they will call on him in class the next time he raises his hand after I speak with his teachers. But after the one time everything goes bvb back to ignoring him until the next time I call. How often should I call the teachers?

2. Does your nephew have parents? Why are you his advocate? Do his parents have relationship issues? Do they have parent-child relationship issues? Those answers may help to answer the question as to why he doesn’t feel comfortable participating in class.

3. There are some good points here and certainly no one should give medication where it’s not needed but there are a few points I would like to make.
   Firstly, there is no reason why a child on Ritalin should not have breakfast they should eat before they take the pill for the day and it should be out of the system by dinner time.
   Secondly, you say to check for a deficiency in skills sometimes a child lacks skills because he is not concentrating! In my case a very smart teen boy was behind in gemarah skills because he had not been concentrating when they were taught in the younger grades- so sometimes not medicating a kid will cause the deficiency.
   Thirdly, Ritalin and other stimulant medications for ADHD do not carry a black box warning(suicidal thoughts) which anti anxiety/anti depressants do. They do not remain in the system from day to day meaning you can not take on a day when you are not in school without any withdrawal, if given the right dose at the right times should not cause insomnia,
   They should not be misused but neither should people be afraid to use these medications when needed they are literally life changing!!! There is no substitution for the feeling of success! It is unfair to withhold it from your child due to false information/fear you may have about medication. Speak to a competent doctor ( not your pediatrician) to guide you

   • …..or simply give him the nutrition that he needs. More to come next year…….

4. Rabbi Abensen has good points, but EVERY TIME he seeks to paint the mainstream schools as monsters and himself as the savior. No principal I know would ever “force” a parent to give medication. They may demand that the child see a professional and then, if the professional medicates, they may demand that the parent medicate and not “experiment”. Of course, there are possible side effects which should be brought to the attention of the prescribing doctor.

   • I was forced by a Mossad to give medication to my child. But that Mossad has done enough to me that this is far from the worst.
     They demanded that I go see a professional, but they told me to whom to go. They knew where they would get the answer they wanted.

     The outside world is starting to see the terrible effects of behavior modifying medication on children, just as the Charedi world is starting to get into it.

     The problem is, when Mosdos see medication as an option, they are no longer motivated to actually address the issues, they just blame the instrangient parents, who have the gall to think that their children are theirs, not the schools

5. Brain medication is dangerous for adults and is much more dangerous for kids; parents are kvetching that their kid is dumb, well those parents are 10 times dumber than the kid;
   I see what goes on today: kids are schlepped to very costly therapists whom are nothing more than smooth talking crooks.
   Kids are schlepped to Optometrists ( they’re refractionists & not eye doctors whom are Ophthalmologists) whom are very lousy optometrists but real professional crooks and scam artists, the poor kids are prescribed unnecessary Prisms, unnecessary Bifocal, unnecessary reading glasses etc , the kids claim that they must wear it even though they struggle and have headaches from them.
   I have a grandson whom is now 8, a very bright kid, but when he was 3 he was very active and didn’t listen, they took him to therapy for not listening and my son comes to me that his insurance is running out and his son must have his therapy that I should pay for it, you know what I gave him, I told him that you and your wife need a physiatrist beyond therapy. Unbelievable what goes on today.

6. I have a legit ADHD son. He does well on concerta. It’s not a focus thing. Kid doesnt sit still without and cant learn. If the teacher/school thinks he needs meds then maybe he does!!! Maybe the kid is distracting other kids instead of other way around!! I don’t know why the parent assumes the teacher doesnt have the child best interest at heart. My son is doing amazing on his meds. He also takes guanfacine. Maybe the parents can look into that. It’s another ADHD med that’s not a stimulant. It’s a blood pressure medication used to relax hyperactive kids. They can also look into supplements like omegas, magnesium and L theanine.

7. That Rebbe or school’s attitude is nothing less than child abuse. They are not Doctor’s. The author is 100% correct.

   We need to stop trying to fit our unique individual children into some misguided robotic stereotype. One size does not fit all.

   The Torah says to “teach your child according to his way”. Not stuff him with medications to get him to conform and stunt the purpose for which each of their precious neshamas were uniquely created to succesfully perform their individual contribution to perfect Hashem’s creation.

   Pushing a square peg into a round hole destroys them both.

   BTW, stop stuffing them with sugar and all the garbage that is in the snacks and lunchmeats. There are plenty of healthy alternatives to buy. They might be more expensive but consider it an investment in your precious child’s future.

8. He is 100% correct, the schools are raking it in with the medications, therapists, optometrists, etc.
   The teachers don’t have what it takes to have the child’s “interest”.
   The Menahalim will not allow proven experts to work with the students to bring them up to par, because they can’t skim money for the school.

   Those tutors will be tutoring the students for the rest of their schooling, with no end in sight. The experts n the other hand will get them up to par in a few months, but the menahlim can’t skim dollars.
   I know some of those experts, I have seen their results.

9. Am I the only one seeing some serious underlying issue here? These are very strong words coming from a Menahel. Not something to take lightly and I’m sure he does not tell every parent of a fidgety kid that the boy meed medication. Many boys fidget and space out. But not all need “Ritalin” for it. Obviously he sees there is an underlying issue that needs evaluation. But why does the mother not see that the child obviously has some underlying issues or does she and is in denial? Or is she just worried about the stigma and refuses to medicate regardless?. From the harsh wording The child seems like he may really does need some serious psychologic evaluation and may possibly need medical intervention. The way I’m seeing it is so does the mom! You all say it’s child abuse to medicate a kid and NONE of know the full story!!! HOW DARE ALL OF YOU!!

10. So, nu? Now you’re a psychiatrist. Even you can do telepathic diagnosis. What happens in your waiting room? You walk in and scream (in all caps) “HOW DARE ALL OF YOU” think each other is nuts?

11. i am a talmud of rabbi abenson, for thoses of you who don’t understand, he is a lifesaver and because of him I’m going to yeshiva in a couple of months.
    i started the program not being able to read well and learning made it miserable.
    since I started I have enjoyed learning more than ever.
    thank you reb dovid.

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